Winter Blues Warning in Effect

Fortified by 10 mg. of the antidepressant Lexipro each day, I am feeling pretty good. But at least three people I have spoken with over the past week report that they are struggling with the old black dog, depression. It is that time of year!

I’ll be on antidepressants the rest of my life. I went off them two winters ago, thinking I felt pretty darn good. Mistake. The next year was of a very low quality--although I kept telling myself I was fine--and it culminated in a crash when I got back from Arizona last winter. At that point, I was unable to sleep, too distracted to work, unable to be calm in anyway, and sobbed most every morning for no apparent reason. It would have been laughable if it weren’t so miserable, for there was nothing stressful happening in my life to justify such agitation and sadness. It went on for two weeks, during which time I would have much rather had the stomach flu.

The antidepressants kicked in about two weeks after I started them, and things have been getting better ever since. However, once you get low like that, I think it takes many months to truly pull up. It is like you dive off the high board into a pool: you keep expecting to break the surface, but it turns out you went deeper than you realized!

I think anti-depressants should be handed out like candy, thank you very much. Look how many people wear eyeglasses or contacts! A depressed outlook is as debilitating as blurred vision. Yet people, many of them wearing glasses, fight and kick and scream to avoid treating the problem of depression.

People with bad vision merely run into things, but depressed people pollute the entire atmosphere around them--especially if they are still of the opinion that their perceptions while depressed are real. Yes, people are talking about me behind my back! Yes, I made a fool of myself at that party! The evidence is in: I am an imposter and a failure! And, all these happy people are hopelessly and sadly deluded! If only they could see things like I do, they’d know how stupid they look.

To maintain sanity, I avoid people in such a state as compassionately as I can.