New Year's resolutions

To big odometer will turn to 2004 at midnight. Whoopee. I plan to be in bed, safe from drunken drivers and falling bullets. Yes, there seems to be some problem with gunshots fired in the air at New Year's here in Tucson. They announced stiff penalties for such behavior on the news last night, and told of the last person hurt by a falling bullet which came through her roof. I will be safe here as there are two stories of concrete above me.

As for resolutions, aren't they in the same category as Santa Claus? In any case, I don't believe in them. I have no desire to quit coffee. I have no desire to start getting up at six a.m. Exercise? I'll do it if I feel like it. Same with reading, writing, and other virtuous activities. They carry their own reward. When I do them, I feel good, when I don't, I get over it.

Nonetheless, here are some ideas for myself for the coming year. I will call them:

Salubrious Suggestions

--Turn the Twins game off if it makes you angry.
--Depend less upon the Schwan man for your nutritional needs.
--Join no clubs, organizations or groups whatsoever.
--Go to Itasca park at least once. Eat at Douglas Lodge.
--Ignore the election completely. Militantly.
--Take at least one canoe ride.
--Take more photos of people you know.
--Learn one new piano piece.
--Memorize one good poem.
--Read one Shakespeare play.
--Read one classic novel.
--Plant at least one tree in a place where it can live forever.
--Drive the back roads to town at least two or three times.
--Jump in a lake once this summer.
--Play catch with a baseball or frisbee at least once.
--Stay up all night once, for whatever reason.
--Don't settle for bad coffee.
--Drive slow and stop often.
--Throw at least one party for some reason, any reason.
--Attend at least one movie.
--Try to relax and enjoy June.
--Write with a lit candle next to the computer more often.
--Get one professional massage.
--Make sure the Scrabble board doesn't get dusty.
--Get up before sunrise at least once this summer.
--Clear some brush somewhere, perhaps to make a trail.
--Save an entire October Sunday for fall colors.
--Hit at least three church suppers.