I am at the Barnes and Noble. The girl next to me is talking very, very loudly to her elderly father on the phone. She has to repeat everything two or three times. Everything. I was getting irritated until the conversation graduated into farce. 

It was clear that she had just brought her boyfriend home to meet her elderly parents. Dad was worried he didn't make a good impression. Daughter assured him, no. 


"Dad, I have a medical question." 

"Mark and I don't believe in sex before marriage"


"But is it possible to get pregnant through clothing?"

I assume her father is a doctor. 

"Well, I am on the pill and everything, but sometimes I forget."

Forget to wear clothing? 

As I write this, the details are continuing to pour out, audible to at least twenty people. 

"So as long as I am on the pill and I am wearing clothing, we should be all right." 


"Oh, hi Mom!"

Apparently somebody heard Dad's end of the conversation and grabbed the other extension in a hurry. 

The world is bizarre. I don't expect you all to believe me, but this is happening. Loudly. In Barnes and Noble. 

UPDATE: Now it all comes out. She has had a couple of drinks and her boyfriend Mark didn't want her to drive home, so she is hanging out in a coffee shop. 

And now: "Mark's parents are super Christian so it is important that I am a Christian, and they are glad you are a Christian, too!"

Just keep your clothes on, girl. 


"Well, actually, I called to tell you I am engaged!"

"Dad, are you there? I am ENGAGED."